I rubbed my chocolate but no genie appeared

I spent a rather exorbitant amount of money on a chocolate bar. $7 for a bar of “Smoke and Stout”, which is Rogue Ale chocolate stout beer, Alderwood smoked salt, burnt sugar caramel, and dark chocolate. It was ‘aight. Had to giggle at the extensive “instructions” on the back of the bar that included “Rub your thumb on the chocolate bar’s surface… inhale deeply”, and “place a small piece of chocolate on your tongue and press it to the roof of your mouth”….really?? Next thing you know, I’ll be drinking that cat-shit coffee.