Welcome to my birthday pity party.
Now that you’ve been warned…
Higher education is a scam, like home ownership. Nanodegrees and vocations are the way to go.
CK sent me an email that his contract flip resulted in no loss of pay or benefits. The man still makes $80k/annually with 3 weeks of PTO (in addition to 1.5 weeks of sick leave). And his greatest responsiblity is to give weekly powerpoint presentations. He has no higher education. No skills (other than powerpoint).
And I’m less than 24 hours from 42 and have never had a vested position. I don’t even know what that means except that I know I’ve never had it. What I have had are two careers that dumped me (yes, like a break-up that I didn’t see coming and felt betrayed by). Since then, flipping daddies every year or two as a contractor. Even the military doesn’t want me back unless I agree to go overseas for another year right out of the gate. Another year. That would make 8 years in shit-holes. Nope. Not that desperate yet.
So here I am, earning near-minimum wage, graduating with a worthless MBA degree in 4 weeks. I can’t even call this a do-over because that would implicate that I’m in a position that might lead to something, like retirement. That was the goal when I went back to school. Seeking stability, retirement, paid time off and a 401k. F*ck, I’m old.
And yet I count down the minutes to closing time and cry in the shower because I don’t want to come to this job. I have no sense of accomplishment at work anymore. Everything is broken here from the people that work here, to the people that come here seeking help to the programs and processes used in this bloated, inefficient agency. And I cant fix it. I can only get chewed up and spit out by the machine.
I’m 42 and everything I’ve done, everything I’ve accomplished has led me to…this.
And I’m stuck in the grinder.
Of those few interviews that I do get, they must smell one of three things I’m wearing: Defeat. Desperation. Resentment.