“…Our flag was still there”

Given the choice, I sing the national anthem acapella. No hiding behind background music. When my voice cracks with emotion, you hear it. I want you to feel it the way I feel it. The way I wish I could still feel the presence of G-d.

I’m not nervous behind a microphone, on stage, singing or dancing… unless I’m singing the Star Spangled Banner. There’s a chance I’ll cry. Pass out gasping for air between belted and whispered notes. Because if there’s any song I give a damn about, it’s that one. Because it’s an honor and privilege to sing it. Because friends and family, known and unknown, enlightened or misguided, died for it.

I’m not out to flex my vocal chops and earn your praise. It’s not about the singer: I don’t give a damn who you are. Sing it straight with respect. Sing it from the corners of your soul, joy and mourning, proud and ashamed of what it represents and has cost us.


“I’m nobody’s baby” ~Judy Garland

Its not always a sex related fantasy. For instance, today…I go to work, then to a dance class, then the grocery store. And I imagine as I drive home that you and kids are waiting for me there. You help me with the groceries and I give you a deep grateful kiss with a promise of more to come. I pour a glass of wine amd start preparing dinner for everyone…its so blissfully domestic! Of course the daydream stars you because you are who I want but if that isn’t in the cards then someone else who is exactly like you might suffice. Maybe even a couple inches taller 😉

Im home and the moon is enormous. Lights up the entire yard. I light candles and put on a Judy Garland record and start dinner. Its just me and the fur alone in this big house. Im relaxed, content, a Mona Lisa smile on my lips. But lonely. I wish I had someone to talk to, sing to, crack jokes with, dance with, cook for, come home to…Is that so much to ask? I send that one up to G-d quite a bit these days.

This picture does the moon no justice. Its shining through the palms and reflecting off the water.

Im just being sentimental.

And then as if reading my thoughts, Judy starts singing “I’m Nobody’s Baby”…

“I’m nobody’s baby
I wonder why
Each night and day I pray the Lord up above
Please send me down somebody to love
But nobody wants me
I’m blue somehow
Won’t someone hear my plea and take a chance with me
Because I’m nobody’s baby now”